boston_marriage (boston_marriage) wrote,

... I haven't slept in my apartment for 9 days and counting...a couple of nights were spent wandering the streets, hanging out in a 24/7 Tim's, and spending 45 minutes asleep on a park bench in the Grange...

I either need some really strong sedatives, or a new place to live, pronto.

I've spent the last three or so days at Mac's house in Niagara on the Lake. I love it here. His mom is really a sweetheart, his dad is fun, and his sister is this fun, crazy, actress type who is my age. I also love his dogs. I've caught up on some sleep, but I don't know where I'm sleeping tonight. Mac's giving me the keys to his place, even though it looks rather as though it SHOULD have roaches, it apparently doesn't, so far as he knows. So there's a bed there.

Man. I'm getting really goddamn sick of Toronto all around, and now that we're looking for a new place, it's just like fuck...I'm never going to get out of this city.

But oh well.

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roaches man, roaches. YOU try sleeping in a place that has roaches living behind the upper kitchen cabinets. it works not. it's tapped into my apparently latent ocd.

OCD things i have done of late:

-laundered all clothing and vaccume sealed it
-ditto for towels/sheets/blankets
-jammed a tone of stuff in large plastic bins and duct-tapped said bins closed
-gone on day-long cleaning frenzies
-have been unable to sleep in the place for a week
-periodically throughout the day take of my clothing in public washrooms to check them for roaches
-think that every single shadow/dark spot on floor or wall/other bug IS in fact a roach
-bought a new backpack, new wallet and spent and hour in the cretin centre going through ALL of my stuff obsessively to make sure it was roach-free before putting it into the clean bag
-have left a giant zip-locked bag full of 'clean' clothing IN starbucks, as well as a few needful clean things like books, my therapy crap, and some toiletries
-took the back off of my laptop to make sure there were no roaches hiding within, yet still expect to see a dozen jump out whenever i open the cd drive
-threw out the coffee pot/toaster/kettle because they might've had roaches in them, and am going to ditch the microwave, too...if i ever get the guts to pick i up
-periodically go through all of the stuff i've been carrying around with me with a FLASHLIGHT to make sure it hasn't got bugs, even though nothing has actually been back into the apartment.

...and that's why occasionally i end up wandering the streets, if i haven't got someone else's house to sleep at